One Year (plus a couple weeks) on the Homestead

I was having all these nostalgic feelings as the one year mark approached from when we moved here, but then we got into business and camping planning so my writing as of late once again has been thwarted. Nevertheless, the date came and went (6/19), so here I am posting in July. You, dear reader, probably didn’t notice and that is absolutely fine.

The biggest thing I’ve noticed here physically is that since we’ve been slowly improving the soil, when it rains we don’t get as many mud puddles or standing water. We’ll keep composting and adding inputs that improve the soil health, we have a fledgling little garden, and I have to keep my expectations low for much production this season. I’ll keep weeding and stay faithful, we’ve heard it could take up to five years to get the land to do what you want it to. Slow and steady is a saying for a reason. Also of note, while we’ve gardened plenty in the past it was always at rented property or on our school’s community garden plot. This is a whole new level starting from scratch, knowing what should go where, companion planting, shade patterns, etc.

We got 15 baby chicks in April and are babysitting a couple of sheep for the summer. Cats or something got into the coop while we were away last week so we are at 13 chickens now. I thought I’d be terrified of them since I’m not a huge fan of any foul but these ladies (and maybe a male or two, too early to tell) are really winning me over. The sheep are mowing our back pasture and there appears to be no more traces of thistle or bindweed, so yay them! Their manure is a great fertilizer as well. No plans for that area yet in terms of growing things but at least the mitigation is helping to clear out the negative so the native plants can thrive. Check out the milkweed!

Hummingbird moth on the milkweed

Indoors, not much has needed alteration. Just your run of the mill repairs and upkeep (today being the swamp cooler, just in time! Spring was good to us but now it’s HOT.) Our biggest projects have been getting water and electricity from the front of the property to the middle so that our two outbuildings can have power and we’ll eventually build a drip irrigation system for the garden so we have the infrastructure up to make that easier when we’re ready. Fence work is an ongoing project as it is for any farm. The big old trees will likely be getting some major trim work in the fall. They are great for their shade but they are Siberian Elms and they drop seeds and branches and ooze some gross liquid constantly. We’ll be pulling up their shoots for the remainder of our or their lives here.

The biggest upcoming news is that we got funding to start The Merc and will be opening a grocery store in the coming month or so. The business plan writing and projecting costs on financial worksheets were a huge mental hurdle and I’m so glad it all came together with help from friends, mentors, the SBDC, our business banker, and the Utah Microloan Program. I can’t wait to get to the physical work of transforming this blank canvas of a storefront into an actual business. Stay tuned for more, and if you’re a local reading this let me know what you’d love to see in this little local store. Think farmer’s market and kitchen staples.

Three years ago we left Denver for a nine month nomad excursion. That trip twisted and turned in so many unknown directions that make up the body of this blog. The first stop on that trip was a visit to our friend’s newly acquired hemp farm in Paonia, Colorado. Three years later we were able to return to their farm for their annual Summer Solstice party. Camping for a week on the western slope of the state we left has given me fresh perspective.

We’ve just returned full circle so to speak from that starting point. Seeing their vision come to fruition in three short years gives me great hope and inspiration for what we can also achieve. We saw their starts and have seen their work pay off in the way of a diverse community and successful business. We didn’t know where we were headed all those years ago, but we have a pretty good idea now. This was also the first camping trip we’d taken in a good long time where we were all actually excited to get back to our regular lives. It was refreshing to get away and is always sweet to see friends, but we are thriving in what we are creating here. Grow where you’re planted.

Nothing is Straightforward

Our two week stint in Denver has come to a close. We had a great time with family and a few friend visits which was very uplifting to the soul. But now we’re back at that nomad life because this land ownership prospect is…quite complicated.

My last post was filled with hope and enthusiasm about the prospects of finding a plot of land we loved and the dream of homesteading. But once we got back to sort out how to do all of it, we quickly poked numerous holes in the plan.

First, the county rules which are vehemently against tiny home building (so no bus work until you first build a septic system and a 600sf main home structure). That’s at least a $60k unanticipated burden from the get-go.

Second, the county rules that you cannot “camp” on your own privately owned land for more than 14 days out of three months (unless you install a septic system of course). So even on the cheaper end of land plus septic we’re not within county guidelines if we never decide to build anything more than our bus.

Third: water. We were more than okay with paying $.08/gallon while camping on our friend’s land, but once you start to factor in full time living, watering your future greenhouse plants or crops, watering future animals (which in terms of type are severely limited up here), it would add up real quick. It’s not a viable option

Fourth, the homestead-as-business idea we are cooking up is also not viable in the area we were interested in since what we are wanting is something accessible to all. Driving 15 miles on dirt roads out of San Luis which already has very limited amenities is the opposite of accessible.

Fifth, there are very few lending options for doing something this unconventional. Back to the drawing board.

So, we are back to square one in our land search, and that part is really okay. But I’m not going to sugarcoat this situation, we are houseless and it is really hard to start a new chapter of life from scratch, add doing so from a trailer and hopping from place to place, it’s exponentially more difficult. Yes, we have supports in Denver that will gladly take us in, but that feels inauthentic to our trajectory and all that we are aiming for in living a rural and sustainable off-grid life. I still have hope that we can find what we’re searching for and in a creative way, we’ve certainly become extremely resourceful in a year+ of nomad living.

With that spirit, we started looking for remote work and are doing some volunteer work through the Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms. http://www.Wwoofusa.org

We paired with our first hosts near Blanca, Co. but it will be a short stay and now we know more questions to ask of future hosts…this is worthy of more words, but I’m still too much ‘in it to’ have much perspective to offer here.

Taos, NM will be our next spot if things line up right between us and the potential host there. While we do these volunteer stints, we are building up our arsenal of skills and honing in on what we want (and definitely don’t want) on our future homestead. This is good practice for the reality we face in becoming homestead farmers, we know that we are in for some hard but worthy work.

I guess I’ll end on this note, I’m discouraged (but not really surprised) that there are very little supports for this kind of endeavor. We both come from long lines of “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” stock, yet we have learned that we were not designed to figure it all out by ourselves. Generations ago, our ancestors did these kinds of things for their livelihood and survival, but not in a bubble and certainly not on their own. It’s something we as a society have long lost sight of. How do we get back to the earth and doing good for the common good? This is our current question and one that we will base our next chapter upon.

Tiny Homesteaders

We have the dream now it’s time to put in the work. After three weeks in San Luis and the surrounding areas of south western Colorado we have narrowed down our land search and have a framework for next steps. Those next steps are hard and expensive. This homestead will easily be the thing we invest the majority of our time and money into for the foreseeable future. Which is a big, scary commitment but also what we want. We are not independently wealthy to make this happen quickly, there will be a lot of DIY and figuring-it-out as we go. So, a little over a year after becoming houseless, we are deciding to take a big risk that will begin to root us somewhere rural where we can see stars and wild horses almost daily. And as it turns out, making decisions for someone else’s life (my dad’s) was a lot more straightforward than figuring it all out for ourselves. We are back in Denver for a week or two for reliable internet and to get a solid plan into place.

Our life on the road has shaped so much of what kind of decisions we will be making going forward. From hipcamps to homesteads, eco ranches to barebones boondocking, we plan to incorporate elements from all of our stays into a place where our family and friends can come visit and feel welcomed. We’re super inspired by our friends doing regenerative farming, and will be looking into ways to incorporate such practices on our land when we start growing our own food. Mostly, this will be a connecting, holistic approach to engaging with the area we want to be rooted in.

While all of this plays out, Zach and I are looking for work we can do remotely. If you know of anything, send us your recs! We’ve got some expenses coming up that we want to be prepared for. The last year of living very scrappy and as minimalists has had a profound impact on us, but it was very much for a season that we know is wrapping up, I mean, we’re not going to go out and accumulate a bunch more stuff just for the heck of it, but we will be incurring more expenses than we have at probably any other time of our lives (I’ve not fully processed how I feel about this as it has yet to happen, but from someone who worries about money from time to time I could use some discerning and calming prayers.)

The kids are starting school online through Colorado Virtual Academy, we weren’t ready for in person school yet, and if we’re both working we can’t be as available for full time homeschooling, so virtual it will be. So far Camden loves 6th grade, and Natalie is waiting for the school to approve her IEP. Fortunately, it is mostly self-paced so nobody is missing out on anything.

That’s about it from here for now. We’re available for getting together while in the metro area, so reach out if you’d like to hang out!

Finally back on the road!

Hoping to call this place home and to plant some roots!

We’ve returned to big open spaces and the lands of no internet so I’m left with fewer distractions and more time to get my thoughts out into words.

We had planned on leaving shortly after 4th of July weekend, but a sudden death in the family (Zach’s cousin) redirected us to Minneapolis for a weekend with extended family. Rest In Peace Nick, your wise soul left us too soon. You remind us to live life fully right here and right now because none of us knows how long we’ll get.

After about three months longer than anticipated (5 months total!) in the Denver-metro area we finally made it back to the road and our nomadic life. We have huge thanks to give to Zach’s parents for letting us crash at their place with all of our crazy vehicles, big kid personalities and all of our stuff. The city of Thornton felt differently than our parents and we got an eviction notice from them the day before we had planned on leaving.

My dad has settled into life and good routines at his memory care facility and we got all of his affairs in order before our departure. Leaving it all in the hands of Applewood and my siblings was harder than I thought it would be. I know he has everything that he needs, I’ll just miss our regular visits. His dementia means that I don’t know what kind of condition he’ll be in next time we see him (which will probably be monthly now rather than weekly).

Fully packed, we rolled out on Friday, July 23. Bus, trailer, all of our possessions, into the great unknown. Our first stop was San Luis. My friend from high school (and great realtor who just sold my parent’s house) offered up a parking spot on her beautiful land just north of the New Mexico border. We have a few places we want to scope out just into N.M. before deciding where we could see ourselves homestead for this next chapter.

Upon getting Flossie set up and organized, we immediately fell into our slower pace and greater appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. Even if that beauty was pulling in while white knuckling during a huge rainstorm. I’ve driven the trailer a handful of times, usually for shorter distances over the last nine months. This trek into Aimee’s land put us all to the test. The dirt roads were soupy and slow going. But we arrived in one piece. Our timing was perfect, the weekend was full of festivities celebrating the 170th year of the small town San Luis, Colorado’s oldest town. We took in the sights and enjoyed the music, car show, and vendors that were strewn out all over town.

The following two weeks we logged plenty of dirt road miles and have seen lots of different properties, we also figured out where it’s best to get supplies, where to get daily WiFi for Camden’s online summer camp, how to handle mishaps (like a flat tire) when we’re so remote, where to do laundry, get drinking and cleaning water, and where the cheapest gas is since it’s by far one of our biggest current expenses. Originally we were going to use this area as a base point for going into northern New Mexico, but after looking and comparing land prices it seems we can get more bang for our buck in this part of Colorado. Plus we’d love to stay Co. residents for ease of things with the courts and guardianship over my dad.

So we are here for the long haul looking for our little landing place that we can call our own and share with friends and family. PVC land markers are becoming our new normal sighting, rarely does an online listing match it’s actual location or coordinates in the field, and hardly anybody gets in touch with you after reaching out, so that’s fun. The good news is we know what we don’t want (middle of nowhere, zero land features or trees) so by process of elimination we are honing in on what we DO want (to be in an established community, some trees even if they’re not huge, a view, mixed land features flat and hilly). We also did our due parental process and found out about the local K-12 public school registration here for the kids. When they saw the 8-4 schedule and learned that they’d be riding a school bus two hours each day the decision to homeschool another year was easily confirmed.

Something that keeps popping into my mind as we do these daily things (and amongst the things we walked away from this past year) is that we have definitely chosen a harder way. Some of it out of necessity -we want to build a bus as a tiny home because we have been priced out of a bonkers real estate situation in any city. Some of it out of a deep desire for a simpler and slower pace. Sure, there are parts that are carefree like the hikes, sunsets, rainbows, and wildlife viewing. But some are really hard, like reading county codes about land use, and building rules and regulations, crossing your eyes over how many plots look the same and are the markers even in the right place.

Some days I long for easy, but I know our old lives are no longer for us. I miss community and having people alongside us to share the load. I miss sharing meals with our parents. And I’m almost always contemplating that these communal things happened differently not long ago and came together for our ancestors, we were never meant to go it alone, it’s just been ingrained in us for the last 100 years or so. I hope wherever we end up that we can cultivate some semblance of the community we crave.

I leave you with this from a timely email from preacher that I follow:

Prayer of Good Courage

(from Holden Village)

O God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown.

Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Good Courage Prayer – extended dance mix

by Nadia Bolz-Weber

O God, you have called your servants-

And you have such questionable taste in servants.

Your servant selection process needs some work

Because O God you have again called your

Foreign women and weary retirees

You have called your pole dancers and police sergeants.

O God you have again called thirsty women and broken men and we who foolishly think we volunteered, as if we raised our eager hand and you called on us when really we were conscripted.

Oh God you have called your servants

to ventures of which we cannot see the ending,

I don’t know how this story ends, Lord.

Could we maybe just skip to the end so I could read the last few verses?

I won’t tell anyone, I promise.

Because, If I can’t see the ending then how do I know if I am getting close?

So God if you could please just give this servant that blue pin at the end of my Google Map directions so that even if the route keeps changing I at least know where I am eventually getting to. Then I’d know which route takes 4 minutes longer, one graduate degree longer, a few emotional breakdowns longer than the one I’m on. Should I face what I already know or what I will surely learn?

Oh God you have called your servants

to ventures of which we cannot see the ending,

by paths as yet untrodden

We’ve not been where we are going yet.

Make a way on these paths we’ve not yet taken – through parks where junkies fix and children play, through starter mansions and public housing and suburban strip malls and dry land wheat farms and cheap motel that charge by the hour if you know how to ask for it.

Oh God you have called your servants

to ventures of which we cannot see the ending,

by paths as yet untrodden,

through perils unknown.

Wait. Perils? Well, ok so maybe I take back the thing about knowing the end because I don’t think Gandolf meant for us to go this way Mr. Frodo. I want to know the end and also know the way to the end but not to know the perils that get me to the end because if I knew the perils I would never start the journey because I’m certain I am just not peril-ready. I am never peril-ready.

So, Lord of the questionable servants we’re gonna need some help.

So….

Give us faith

Hand it over. Seriously. Cough it up. We don’t generate enough of our own so if you call us, equip us, Lord. Give us faith to go out with good courage,

Or at least good enough courage.

Give us faith to go out with good courage, knowing only that your hand is leading us

Your strong hand. Your soft hand. The one that molded us out of dirt.

If your hand can lead Jesus out of his own grave, then it is indeed strong enough to lead us out of ours too.

Give us faith to go out with good courage, knowing only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us eternally; through Jesus Christ

…who breaks open prisons, frees slaves and captives, feasts with the outcast and celebrates strangers.

Jesus who was so bad at choosing his friends and just as bad at choosing his servants.

Jesus who even now stands among his faltering friends and shows us his hand and his side and gives us his peace. Gives us his faith, gives us his good courage, gives us his leading hand, gives us his love gives us his support.

And it is enough for the ventures of which we cannot see the end. Amen.

We’re still waiting, so let’s make some new memories.

I’ve laughed at myself a lot as these weeks have slowly turned into months and I’ve fought this unfair marching on of time almost the entire way. The latest came early last week when after having a favorable hearing for permanent Guardianship and Conservatorship over my dad on the 24th, I thought we’d get written orders from the court by week’s end, maybe this week at the latest. Once we have orders we can finally move forward with closing on the house, we can also get all of my dad’s outstanding bills paid, and make plans for all of our next chapters. Wouldn’t you know it, the magistrate took the week off, so yet another week setback. 🤣🤣🤣 (if I don’t laugh about it I cry, so this is better.)

So after all of the resisting and whining, I decided to finally surrender. It’s been a slow surrender as I’ve realized how dug in I was with my plan of only wanting to be back in Colorado for two months (I know, how cute and naïve of me). Surrender has looked like giving ourselves mountain breaks for two weeks in a row, (despite the guilt that I’ll likely always carry anytime we go anywhere forever now, especially when dad’s care facility is calling me as we head out of service).

Back to the mountains for some camping on my sweet friend Betsy’s land

Surrender also looks like soul filling convos with friends, impromptu drop ins, celebrating G-Pa’s 70th birthday with family we haven’t seen in over a year, random errands to look for bus inspiration, planting flowers and veggies at the memory care facility and tending to our tiny plants. We may as well settle in and make new memories here while we can. The timeframe will play out as it is supposed to, and there is absolutely nothing I can do in my power to move that along. There’s a lightness and levity in surrender. There’s clarity in stepping back, not trying to force solutions, there’s laughter and love to be shared in the here and now. Just like always. Now is all we have, having a dad with dementia shows me that in every conversation or moment shared with him. I have a choice in how I want to spend my now. Do I do it with anger and fear or with ease and serenity? When it’s posed that way the choice seems very clear to me. Let me remember this next time I slip back into trying to control any situation.