Movement and Creativity and Seasonal Affective Disorder

Consistency is key. When I start putting my self care routine, (namely two walks per day) to the side, things start to slide. That sciatica I had a few months of reprieve from, starts to rear its ugly symptoms again. My anxious thoughts start to overpower. I feel gloomy, lonely, and hopeless. I’ve reached that part of the year where this rut happens, it’s seasonal depression. I naively thought since it’s been warmer and I’ve been outside more that it wouldn’t hit but no amount of outdoor time can fix it when there’s no UV light and thus no vitamin D to derive from the sun.

I opened the store timing-wise to counteract the feelings of isolation that also naturally happen come winter. We’re all just inside and prone to hibernation mode. Well, we have to eat, so come on by and get some food and conversation to break up the daily monotony, it’s good for all of us! It’s the week of Christmas so I’m baking and making neighbor treats. Having a sourdough crisis in that I can’t seem to get a good rise, so loaf after loaf is a new experiment and little tweaks here and there. If you’ve received a flatish loaf from me, it’s still good, just pop it in the toaster for a bit! Or make it into a stuffing or croutons, we’ve done all of the above with much delight.

This is all to say, this time of year is hard, but also joy filled. Lonely and quiet but also inviting and eye opening. Looking for ways to express gratitude daily. Noticing how I crave color this time of year when all is brown and flat, so when I look up and get a beautiful sunrise or sunset it feels like a gift just for me. Laughing with people but also crying about the pain of it all. We will come to know the vastness of our emotions but will not be slaves to them. I was made by a powerful Creator, and I am a powerful creation. It is within all of us. What we choose to do with is up to us.

Look what a three mile hike outside of town can do to get my writing flowing again. Thanks for reading!

New Year… same me

Coming from deep inside winter hibernation mode.

I’m so encouraged seeing more and more posts and awareness online about how the start of the new year, January 1 is actually a terrible time to set resolutions and jump into new goals. It’s still the early days of winter, we are cold and hungry for carbs. I don’t need a new body or new, well, anything really.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for setting intentions and making progress and self improvement. I started working with a coach a few months ago to help me focus on that and on myself since this whole caretaking journey has taken on a new dimension in this new state. So I’m not saying abandon ship with one’s goals. I AM saying January is maybe not the best time to wake up and start saying I’m going to crush it in a whole new way just because the calendar says that’s what I’m supposed to be doing. That’s just a set up for disaster, at least it is for me anyway.

Things that I am focusing on in this cold, dark time of the year are things I was mostly already doing as we went into the season. I’m not adding to the list, and there’s a freedom in that. I’m editing more, who I follow, what I consume online, curating if you will. If it isn’t serving me in a positive way, I let it go. I’m sleeping more, because my body craves it. I’m puttering around the house a lot in granny sweaters and slippers, baking sourdough – not because it’s trendy, but because it’s nourishing to my creative spirit and delicious to consume.

May this post be a reminder to just do you. Edit and curate. Save the goal crushing for warmer months and sunnier times. Eat something filling and warm, and nestle in for the winter, give yourself what you need in this season.