It has still been an action-packed few weeks. Dad finally got placed in a memory care facility on April 30. Zach and I drove him there from the VA in one of the hardest emotional days yet in this crash course journey with dementia. I had to advocate hard with the VA that this would be an appropriate level of care for him vs. a nursing home setting where they wanted to see him go. It’s been 10 days and it’s been an adjustment but mostly good. He calls from the house phone at the facility with strange requests ranging from “come pick me up from ‘work’ right now,” to asking about his cell phone (a flip phone) and letting me know he has a buyer for it can he get the number. The siblings and I take turns going to see him as the pandemic still dictates how often, how many, and how long visitors can be at the facility. It was a huge relief getting him placed but on the heels of that relief we ran into a hiccup with the house.

Back in February before any of this happened, my dad quitclaim deeded the house over to my brother Kurtis. Well, if we plan on applying for Medicaid in the next five years (which we do), there are gift penalties, Medicaid penalties, and taxes that the state of Colorado would have a right to because of the timing of the gift, so it was advised that we get the house deeded back into my dad’s name so he can spend down the proceeds and then apply for Medicaid. That is doable, but with this change we also need permission from the court to sell the house so I submitted a motion two days prior to our original closing date to ask for the OK to sell. Now we are in a holding pattern until that motion is granted.

It finally dawned on me how much this Guardian and Conservator work entails in time, energy, research, emotional work, and more. I’m bone tired and have been settled long enough for that exhaustion to really set in. Another realization is the great weight of grief that this short amount of time has taken so much from us. We put everything in our lives on hold to come home for family and in the chaos of that have really lost the through line. Yes, we have the bus to look forward to, but no idea where to build, and the need remains to be close to the metro area while the rest of this plays out. We are grateful to be staying with Zach’s parents and have fallen into simple routines, the kids do their homeschooling most mornings, I tend to whatever work around dad needs to happen, and Zach tinkers in the bus. It’s the long slow road and man am I tired. I usually have some quip of hope or optimism I’d love to wrap up with, but I’m low on that too at the moment. For now I intend on listening to my tired body and giving her the rest she needs.