Movement and Creativity and Seasonal Affective Disorder

Consistency is key. When I start putting my self care routine, (namely two walks per day) to the side, things start to slide. That sciatica I had a few months of reprieve from, starts to rear its ugly symptoms again. My anxious thoughts start to overpower. I feel gloomy, lonely, and hopeless. I’ve reached that part of the year where this rut happens, it’s seasonal depression. I naively thought since it’s been warmer and I’ve been outside more that it wouldn’t hit but no amount of outdoor time can fix it when there’s no UV light and thus no vitamin D to derive from the sun.

I opened the store timing-wise to counteract the feelings of isolation that also naturally happen come winter. We’re all just inside and prone to hibernation mode. Well, we have to eat, so come on by and get some food and conversation to break up the daily monotony, it’s good for all of us! It’s the week of Christmas so I’m baking and making neighbor treats. Having a sourdough crisis in that I can’t seem to get a good rise, so loaf after loaf is a new experiment and little tweaks here and there. If you’ve received a flatish loaf from me, it’s still good, just pop it in the toaster for a bit! Or make it into a stuffing or croutons, we’ve done all of the above with much delight.

This is all to say, this time of year is hard, but also joy filled. Lonely and quiet but also inviting and eye opening. Looking for ways to express gratitude daily. Noticing how I crave color this time of year when all is brown and flat, so when I look up and get a beautiful sunrise or sunset it feels like a gift just for me. Laughing with people but also crying about the pain of it all. We will come to know the vastness of our emotions but will not be slaves to them. I was made by a powerful Creator, and I am a powerful creation. It is within all of us. What we choose to do with is up to us.

Look what a three mile hike outside of town can do to get my writing flowing again. Thanks for reading!

Portal

Noticing
A sparkly thin space that appears out of nowhere
Not all are able to see
Many will simply walk by
One must be paying close attention
Curiosity 
A spirit still alive in some,
Lying dormant in others,
waiting for their moment to wake from a long slumber
Where do the awake and alive get to gather?
To Gather = Together
Speaking of things that sound like gibberish
Spirit this, curious that, the world in birthing pains to a new generation
The only way through is through
Some will turn back, pretend this was all a dream
Wrapped up in a denial blanket, deliciousness on the edge of smothering
Those that choose to bravely venture forward 
Choose to do so with the knowing that we don’t actually know a thing
Trusting that we have all we need for this journey
Into new places
New realms
New possibilities

Yes, it requires a dying of the old,
But the new is just too juicy to ignore any longer
We’ll all go into these places at different times and at different rates of speed
Our destination is one of Opening,
Love,
Joy,
Acceptance,
Belonging
Inhale, exhale, all are invited here
Will you dare to take the first unknown step?

>I submitted this piece of writing from a prompt on the word Portal to the Animas institute, a first for me! Check out their work at https://www.animas.org

Natalie asked me the other day, “mom, are you a writer?“ to which I asked what qualifies as a writer to her. She said writing something everyday, which yes I do, notebooks full actually. So here I am, I’m a writer.